Worship Him still.
Another try at starting a school week today.
Another later-than-I-planned morning.
Bible reading and character training are my first priority of the daily routine, and endure throughout the day.
This morning things started like they often do when I really want to inspire the children and hear the Holy Spirit speak:
There was bickering about who gets to sit where,
and "your pillow is in my space"
and "your foot keeps touching my leg",
and "can I go potty real quick?"
and "I'm hungry".
Then there's me.
A humbled mom, holding her head in her hands. How could I be beaten by 8:30 in the morning?!
Silently I called out to God:
"I want my children to know you Lord, but is this a bad time to press through?
Shall I move on to the next thing so I don't misrepresent you?
I don't want to start reading your Word with attitudes like this.
It seems counterproductive to the goal.
I do not want to pretend something, contrive something, force something...
But I do want to be obedient. I want to be faithful..."
As homeschooling moms, or any mom who loves the Lord Jesus,
we do the things we do because God is real and really deserving of everything we give Him.
He deserves more than that of course, but He graciously accepts what we submit.
If I give you the short version for why I stay home with my children to oversee their education,
it's because I believe that knowing God and our need for a Savior comes before anything else.
After that, I want my children to know who they are as eternal souls,
and how that manifests itself in all our thoughts, words, and actions as humans in a tangible world;
and more importantly, what that mean in reference to the Almighty God who made them.
That's a full time undertaking without all my very daily tasks plus educating my children about the world we live in.
But when I take inventory of what I think will actually get a accomplished on a given day,
and when I decide that something on my agenda must go,
Our time in God's Word is not among the things I cull.
I want my children to be faithful in their studies and able to communicate with people outside their sphere,
but that being said, I really truly believe that a formal education isn't important to the Lord.
That is to say, I think being knowledgeable about "stuff" isn't important, for the purpose of "knowing stuff" to get along in life.
You can sputter and cough and wheeze about that for a while, and I'm sure it sounds good to say:
"...but it's important to rightly represent Christ to the world
by being good stewards of our intellect!"
by being good stewards of our intellect!"
To that I say,
We need to be faithful with the resources the Lord has given us, but only foremost
as an act of worshiping our Creator.
While I believe that beautiful fruit can come from obedience and faithfulness as an act of worship,
and a powerful witness can be displayed, I don't think that displaying beautiful fruit should be the first goal - even for the purpose of witnessing.
might I suggest that any aspirations outside of worship and obedience (which are responses born from gratitude and love of our Savior),
are vain glory?
I think so.
I do suspect that if we cultivate our interests and passions for the glory of God, and build our understanding of those things on the foundation of Jesus Christ and honoring Him, they may endure death. I don't know.
You see, perseverance through a mini battle such as I experienced this morning is of eternal consequence. Whether my heart is soft to worship the Lord,
whether my responses to shenanigans are filled with grace,
whether I captivate my childrens' interest because I CARE about what I'm teaching them, and actually BELIEVE the things I am saying - THAT has an effect on my children now; I have an effect on my children now.
That effect will reach into their adulthood,
and last for all eternity.
for. all. eternity.
I am responsible for what gets tucked away in those now-tender hearts.
it seems a waste to work so hard on stuffing things into brains that will die with their bodies, and yet neglect the greater part.
Or at least fail to recognize the grave importance of having an eternal perspective because we are blinded by what worldly standard we must achieve today.
Corinthians 3: 10b - 15a
"...But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon.
For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay,
Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire;
and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is.
If any man's work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.
If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss..."
It was a rough start this morning, but that was normal.
I should get used to the fact that life is dynamic and won't hold a serene pattern to please me.
In fact, it's possible - likely even - that there is more opportunity for spiritual growth when all my plans are demolished and my heart is laid bare.
What overflows from within me when it appears all is lost?
It could be the greatest opportunity for me to worship,
and the greatest opportunity for humility and repentance,
for making a lasting impact.
And for the Lord to show Himself very real to some sinful little children,
through one imperfect mom who knows the miraculous power of His redeeming love...
...and lives it.