That is a thought too grand for me to comprehend.
He knows the beautiful stars, he places them in their places and calls them by name - each one.
I love Him so.
Sometimes it seems my life was fashioned by God purely for the experiment of outpouring
His favor in large quantities and in new creative ways on one very low person... for what purpose?
I have no idea. I'm completely blank when it comes to the question, but it's a true truth that
I am the recipient of such amazing grace.
Today I proclaim His mercies again.
To begin, I must announce the marvel of a new baby to arrive in March!
Until recently, all has been boringly normal with this pregnancy.
Last night, through three isolated events over the course of several hours
I believed I was losing my baby. Everything pointed to a miscarriage and I had only to
await the cramping.
I admit, I was a bit fearful. At nearly 15 weeks gestation I'd never lost a baby so far along.
Last night was a restless time.
AJ was due to fly across country this morning (which he ended up proceeding with), and we've
been hosting dear friends from Oregon who are not due to leave for a few days yet. I won't
record them by number, but I had
not a few questions about the unknown future.
Last night I called two dear women, friends of mine experienced in pregnancy and delivering babies,
and each of them were available to talk with. Both offering assurances of hope which I had not expected
to hear.
Then I emailed my local midwife whom I haven't talked to since my last baby was born.
She is only in office two days a week and today being one of them I wanted to see if she'd listen for
a tiny heartbeat. This morning she promptly replied and scheduled in into her already packed day,
but by this morning I determined that an ultrasound was probably inevitable whether we heard a
heartbeat or not.
Feeling quite well this morning and full of hope since I wasn't continuing to bleed and hadn't
experienced any cramping, I saw my husband out the door to the airport and wondered how I was
going to cope through this day with 7 children and 5 guests.
The Lord knew. And He provided what I needed each moment - namely peace for the unknown.
After I lay 5 children down for nap I checked email one more time before I too, intended to shut eye
for an hour or so.
There was a hurried note from my midwife saying she'd scheduled me for an ultrasound at the
hospital 1 hour from the time I read my email - just barely enough time to load my crew and drive
the 45 minutes to the hospital! Wow.
My visiting (and very precious) friend Sarah rode with me to sit with my children in the van, the rest
of her own family followed behind offering the support of their presence. That so put my mind at ease
and strengthened my courage for the unforeseen ahead.
I could not believe the timing of each call, letter, appointment, person available, and event
which made up the course of this day. I was told that the small-town ultrasound technician wouldn't
be available again until late in the week, and yet an appointment
right now? Wow again.
Even on the drive to the ultrasound appointment I couldn't help but know I had experienced the love
of God in orchestrating these details so carefully - no matter the outcome. I felt cherished.
Skipping ahead to the good part,
the amazing technology of ultrasound imaging showed to me
the most beautiful and perfect baby I could have dreamed up!
And there was a tiny beating heart.
There was a small round head, and two little arms waving at me, two legs tucked up near a sweet
little tummy... all screaming "life
life LIFE!"
There was nothing else to do but marvel and worship. Without making this post more about me
than I intended, I need add I do not deserve this, didn't expect this, didn't earn this.
It's all a mysterious piece of that experiment - His favor poured out on me!
Thank you Lord.
And I rejoice.
Thanks for rejoicing together with me :-)