No Pause Button

Perfect spring days; some cool and wet, others balmy warm.
Sun dappled decks and growing green call us outdoors
and I leave things a shambles inside
to go out.

It strikes me especially just now,
how like the new little evergreen trees
my children are.
Long, lanky, sprouting new growth every year
and stretching ever upward much faster than I notice.

I want the days to stay this way forever.
Noise and messes and crunchy floors, as my friend calls them,
wear a mommas body out with their never-ceasing ever-presence,
but my heart says please...
please pause!

When all the chicks are under our wings
and the days are drenched with living
truly living...
When life is full of light - even on shadowy sunless days
and big burps, quick wits, squeaky babies, jokey laughter and grins
are a dime a dozen,
me and mine - we look at each other and don't see the age
but these children, they prove otherwise.  Time is not stopping for us.
And we want these days to stay forever.
At least pause for a while so we can saver the moments
more thoroughly.

There is no looking back
and there is no pause button
and time will continue to exist until Jesus comes back for us.

I want to banish tiredness and crankiness and feelings of defeat
I want to remember that I live in freedom
and that grace is not just for them
and that old things have passed away and ALL things have become new
(even me).

I want to worship the Lord in all the moments - even the hard ones.
I want my children to see a real mom that is really forgiven
and knows real humility and is willing to ask forgiveness
even of them.
Maybe one day they will know how I wanted to be perfect for them
wanted to be just what I thought they needed
wanted to have no regrets.

If they will just know how much I love them...

Do you hear that Precious Ones?  I love YOU!
You.
You guys who are growing too fast and becoming such beautiful people
and taking my breath away as I watch you live with such zeal!
My heart aches with the loving
and is fuller than I can bear for the gratitude of getting to be yours
and for the amazement that you are mine.

If this day will not stay forever
your dad and I will watch those legs keep growing
and those spirits continue to develop in wisdom and in depth of understanding
we'll measure your height on the wall
and watch your personality blossom in abundance of color
and take in the sweet aroma of your character.
We enjoy you each so much!

I hope we can follow you in your adventures
as you have been faithful companions on ours.
I hope you find a best friend to marry
like I did.
I hope your living rooms have enough space for us
to roll out sleeping bags and have slumber parties and spill pop corn on your carpet
when we come to visit.
I hope you have lots of babies and crunchy floors.
I will sweep them for you.
And be sure to live in a house with a porch.  It is the best spot to sip coffee together.

Oh my favorite people in the whole world!
I want these days to stay forever...
but since they won't
I can't wait for sharing all the ones we have.

I love you!

~Your Momma

To You

Dearest Friends,

You ladies bless my socks off!
Your kind, gentle, encouraging words breath life into my spirit and refresh me for the
upcoming work ahead.  Thank you for praying for me, and for taking the time to
comment!  To read each one is like opening a package - I kind of savor the sweetness :-)

It's official this week, baby can come and be exactly on time!
According to history I would expect he or she to appear from several days early to
one day late.  According to reality, this labor isn't obligated to take note of prior patterns.
As for me, there has been a change in the last few days.  Baby is lower and scrapes bottom
(if you know what I mean), more Braxton Hicks contractions, I'm moving slower over all,
and then the occasional "I can't do this" cry overtakes me at night in anticipation.
Yup.  It's time.

The verse that has implanted itself on my heart this time is 1 John 4:18

"...but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment..."

Boy do I know this truth!  I know that fear causes torment, and I can do nothing
about the future or the unknown that lies ahead.  I can only take one moment at
a time as it arrives.
I know that God is Love.  HE is the one who drives out fear, and for me he
has been doing just that.  Every time I get an inkling to be anxious about upcoming
labor (which, no matter how great my experiences have been, childbirth hurts
and I remember it well.) I'm choosing to give my fears to the One Perfect Love.
He has been faithful, and I'm counting on Him to be my strength in the very
moments I need Him.


In other news, I really should blog a pile of pictures from our daily goings-on
here.  The children have been enjoying the new birds, and creating some really neat
things in the wood shop, and drawing up a storm!  Perhaps that is the next post.
Grandma's would appreciate that probably :-)

Snow again this afternoon, after a day in the 70's yesterday luring me out in my
bare feet.  I like the gray for hunkering down in my cozy bedroom.  This is where
I've been doing much of our school reading together, and this afternoon I've
hibernated here while dishing out instructions to Zachary on how to make salsa
for dinner, and giving instructions to Susanna for washing the lettuce and grating
the cheese.
I broke open the name book for the first time ever - just reevaluating names for
this baby - and spent some time with hot cocoa and books and inspiration for
new artwork I want to start in on.
It was a lovely afternoon.  Now time to check messes and tidy up before dad
gets home.  To rally the troops and wrap up loose ends.  To close up the lap top
and live the evening :-)

Thanks again friends - each dear one - for reaching out to me.
I am blessed.

For the Dad of Our Family

Dear Dad of my Children (My Own dearly Beloved),

Your kids are very creative.  You may have picked up on that by now, but they sure have it in them!

Thank you for facilitating their imaginations and their fancy, by providing such a wonderful wood shop.
As you'll see below, Number One was inspired to organize the workbench you built!
(Well Done Number One!) Thank you for making that workbench a priority over the top of a long
list of projects to be done.
You are the best!

Clay built one robot this morning and before long, he had a very colorful gathering of friendly and
sociable robots.  I love them.  I love the colors.  I love your Clayton.

Do you see what Z did with the wheels your ordered?  He built two different rolling toys.
Bryce took them both to bed.

Here's a picture of The Robot Dogs Clayton imagined up. My bookcase in the
living room is starting to resemble a Toy Store! :-)

The picture below it?  Some votive candle holders Zachary made and is sharing with me :-)

Now.  Here is our latest acquisition: 3 Goldfish.
Did you know you approved of their purchase?  You did it when you married me
and made me the mom of these hoodlums.  I hope you don't regret it ;-)

At 27 cents apiece, why not seven fish - one for each child?
Because I don't want to hear a sob-story about who's fish just died.
Let's make sure the victim belongs to everyone equally.
I may be a pessimist, but I think I'm setting myself up for success.

Not so sure about the fish.

Finally, a bit of my own creativity.  This sign is a knock-off of someone else's creation, but I'm happy with
my spin.  It was great to have Zacks help cutting this and nailing that, finding me the right screws and
retrieving the ladder... I practically made this sign from cedar fence boards all by myself!
What would I do without an 11 year-old son?

So again, dear Dad...(My own Love), thank you for being such a man.  Thank you for blessing this crew
with opportunities to explore and create.  Thank you for providing the resources.

Thanks for these pretty amazing kids.
I like 'em a lot.

Love,
~me

Thursday Thinking-of-You

Some thoughts being sent to far-away Tasmania

Dearest,

I planted a couple seeds yesterday.  Zachary helped me hill the dirt; 
Carolina followed me and poked the seeds into the ground with a short stick.

Three hills of Amish Pumpkin, four hills with Goldenglo Watermelon, 
and four of zucchini which will probably be the most successful four hills 
and of which will bear the most wasted produce 
owing to only three of us liking zucchini.
 
Frankly I don't really care.  
I don't mind what grows as long as something grows, 
and I don't care if anyone eats its fruit because I will get nourishment
just from watching the process.
 
Dirt, 
seed, 
water, 
sun, 
water, 
sun, 
water, sun, 
sprout, 
water, 
sun, leaves, tendrils, 
water, sun, vine, blossom..... and on and on. 

IF it will be even that ambitious.

We picnicked in the old garden yesterday.  

Not the garden we fenced last year, 
but the remnants of somebodies work and love from an age gone by.

This particular garden is only some tangled Lilacs 
and a carpet of Lily of the Valley growing wild, 
most likely planted several generations ago 
when there was a sawmill and homestead down near the creek.
 
After our picnic I dug out a clump of Lily's and a piece of Lilac for Auntie Hannah. 

Despite my desire to garden 
and very meager attempts, 
Hannah  earns the title 
Green Thumb.  
I guess I can bear the title "Supplier of Green" 
or maybe 
"Green Thumb Facilitator"  
I'm known for liking green, it's just that I usually kill it.
 
Auntie Hannah promptly found a place 
to stick our green gift in the ground.  

That Lilac will be happy in her yard.

In Weather talk, we had several days of bright sun teasing us between cloud-cover.  
Then yesterday a full day of sun warmed the air enough to make us believe it's actually summer!  
At twilight AJ was invited (by our neighbors) to tear into the dirt road with his excavator.  
The idea was to "fix" a bad spot attempting to make the road less of a jolting ride.
Or maybe the idea was to appease the neighbors (It probably depends on who you ask).

Wouldn't you know it rained buckets later that night? 
 
I bet the road isn't "fixed".
I wonder if the neighbors are appeased?
Of course the forecast is for perfect sunshiny days the next two weeks straight.

Oh!  I want to tell you.  
Today I was standing over the stove 
making dinner 
and I had an epiphany: Convertible Sunroof on Kitchen.
That was it.
I'm so proud of myself; 
I had been feeling almost guilty for not having a want - 

a real, big, out-of-reach... want.  

But now I have one!
See, I'm often in the kitchen.  Too often.  

At least, it feels too often when it's still light outside and balmy.  And everyone else is still playing or working on projects where the summer air tickles the senses.  My senses aren't tickled by dinner chores these days.
 

So I was thinking, "Hm.  I don't really want an outdoor kitchen because sometimes it rains.  Or sometimes the mosquito's are too thick.
And I don't want to move all my cookery outside nosiree.  What I need is a Sunroof on my INdoor kitchen!  Then I could just push a button and zshhhhhhhhhh.... my roof folds up. Voila!

Summer air tickling the senses while I work in the familiarity of my own year-round kitchen!"
 

If I should need to cook a late dinner I could enjoy the stars, and I could close the roof if Lunch prep got too hot under the noonday sun. Also, if it started to rain I wouldn't have to run for shelter.
Yep.  I'm thinking a Convertible Kitchen. It'll be the next big thing! 

 





That's about it for today.  I think I did pretty good to have thoughts besides what's for dinner (seems to be a theme lately). There was some good heart growth that went on while I exercised patience and endurance today in a department I won't elaborate on.
I WILL say that I am humbled when I slow down enough to realize just how much grace the Lord has for me.
And endurance.
And patience.
All of a sudden it becomes easier to carry on, if you know what I mean.

He is good, and His favor great!
May His blessing be heaped up and overflowing in your moments today.

 

Love and a hug,
~Me

Miss Crazy Hair gains another week

What a lovely week it's been - and weekend too!  Our days have been full of visiting, and adventures,
and just being together with Molly and Nick and Lydi. 
Because Charlie lives within walking distance our three families have spent most of every waking moment
as a motley conglomeration of joking, laughing, playing bodies.  There's been plenty of hootin' and hollering.
It's been like a theme park, summer, and Heaven all mixed together.
Truly, if this is anything like Heaven promises to be, I can't stand to wait!

Aloria has been an easy baby.  The Lord has lightened my load in her contentment and smiles.
Though she sometimes has tummy troubles, most babies do.  Thankfully she is consolable, and
her pains are of short duration,

Miss Aloria's hair has been a source of pleasure as it springs into shocked action almost no matter
what I do to tame it!  She is my first baby to wear so many hair accessories, but that's purely coincidence
since I am just having a fun with my girl:-)  Some people say she looks like me.  Do you think so?
Maybe it's the shocked hair....

Auntie Hannah took this picture of me and my twin while at the lake this evening.  Yellow shirt courtesy
of Auntie Moll.  So good to have Aunties around.  They treat us right!

***************************************************************

Dear Aloria Mercy, you take the cake.  I didn't know being a 7x mom could be so wonderful, and new!
Every milestone is just as precious as the first time I experienced it - maybe even more since I am
sobered by experience to know just how fast the time goes by.
I try a lot harder to capture each fleeting moment. And even if those moments are too slippery to keep,
I believe I know to appreciate them more. Savor them.  And an older and wiser me knows to
cherish even the tummy pains, bomb-outs that destroy your cutest outfits, and crying through dinner
on schedule every night.
This too shall pass.
When it does, I may even miss it.
In fact, I know I will.

So Aloria, thank you for being mine.  I hope you'll teach me a lot.
Please be patient with me because I am only getting to be an expert at humility
and I've never mothered an Aloria before :-)
I love you daughter!


Love,
~Momma~