A phone call,
only an hour to make a path through the toys/gear/shoes/papers/dirt/debris.
Beloved friends coming by make my day....... and send me into a tailspin.
As I whisk through the house setting things in order, I suddenly notice the dust
so thick I could write a message in it with my finger. With all my fingers.
On both hands. At the same time.
And I knew there were cobwebs hanging there, but that many? Jeeper's they're long!
Where are the spiders responsible for such engineering feats?
When was the last time we cleaned the toilet, and how did I not notice the jam
sticking to the side of my counter. Never mind the fingerprints covering every glass
surface and don't even bother about the mop-desperate floor... but
Why are there hairbands in that pile of dust in the corner? Who will sweep that?
Fill that? Move that? Put that away? ? ? ?
Worried-worried, furrowed brow, in my mind I am somewhere else. Wondering what
part of my dusty life my friend will see. Am I really worried that she'll see it?
Or am I embarrassed that it's there?
I move quicker than a spinning top. Brushing through every thing - every person - in my path.
Don't get in my way!
Now's my chance! Gather some perspective while there's still time and hold onto it!
I call my children into the room where I slow my pace, dusting the piano with more
deliberate motion than fervor. I think before I open my mouth again, but when I do,
I hear my own voice speaking softly.
"Children," I say "Children, Please forgive me for being in a hurry, for being grouchy, for being... bossy.
We have the pleasure of guests in a short while, and that is an honor. I am thinking that we want to enjoy them, and to bless them when they come into our home. But you are them most important to me, and enjoying you is more important than making things look just right for them.
No amount of surface-cleaning a stinky old grave can make it smell pretty. What's on the inside of our hearts, MY heart, is going to show through. I want to show a true picture. If there are dust bunnies popping out from under the couch, that will be okay with me because I want our home to be full of joyful fellowship between each of us! I refuse to behave poorly to you guys in order to impress someone else, so let's ask the Lord to prepare our hearts for enjoying each other and blessing our friends!"
Smiles and forgiveness, and a good lesson I learned before it was too late today.
A hard and humbling lesson.
Hard because I want everything to look serene.
Humbling because my children know me.
They know the truth - whether the truth is beautiful or not.
Humbling because I have to throw my pride away and enjoy coffee in the shadow of cobwebs.
Good, because if the secret of our household is that grace and peace, truth, joyful hearts, and
glorious fellowship reside in the abundance of dirt...
we've got it.
When I thought of being a mom, I never dreamed of THIS! ~Five heart melting smiles ~never getting tired of midnight feedings ~having all the answers ~not minding dirty faces ~enjoying watching the boys eat! ~falling in love with pigtails ~appreciating overalls ~appreciating a washing machine! ~wanting to do everything better ~falling in love a million times