Wednesday, September 30, 2009

One Picture "To Die" For

Isn't that the most precious face EVER?!! No wonder I'm smooching on it :-)

My eight year old son Zachary took this perfectly wonderful picture of me and my littlest guy - no photo-shopping. He took a dozen and a half from which this one was pulled out being "the jewel", but I am just so pleased to have a personal photographer these days;-)
Thanks #1 son!!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

A Little Girl Turns Five Today

This box is from Gramsie and Pops. Sue told me she was kissing it yesterday... I would have liked to have the camera handy for that!

It was the first thing she wanted to explore this morning, and had lots of help cutting tape and such:-)

Gramsie painted a little sewing box and filled it with all kinds of girlie pink treasure for sewing and creating.
Susanna was thrilled Grams - thank you!!

Big brother Clayton made about four different presents for sister. This one is a "fossil" bird's claw necklace. (I was very thankful to hear that the bird who donated its claw was "already dead". How'd you like a fossilized bird claw necklace? It could be the next great thing!
Thank you Clay - you are a sweetheart!

This was my favorite part today - the cake!
Yesterday Susanna had her choice of any candy in the candy store to top her cake with.
My pretty pink girl chose (drum roll please): gummy snakes. Yes SNAKES. And I am not kidding - these snakes were over two feet long! UGH!

Susanna was tickled, well... pink. She thought it was hilarious, and giggled about it the whole way home. She was not joking though, she carefully arranged these snakes on her "chocolate cake with pink frosting" and commenced to... (Eeesh!) EAT one right along with her cake!

She wanted to eat her cake at about 4:30 in the afternoon (I know, I know), so needles to say she wasn't very hungry for dinner later!

I think these pictures say it all. Just look at her face!
And after all... what's a birthday if you don't CELEBRATE!!

I will certainly celebrate the presence of this precious person in our family!

My little girl. My Susanna Glory. How I love you dear sweet first daughter of mine!
You have been waiting for this birthday for weeks and even months now. For me, it has come too fast.

Once upon a time you were the most stoic child I had ever met. I bet you hardly smiled ten times before you turned one year old. Anyone who thought they could make a baby smile was soon put in their proper place by you. I knew there were a million thoughts inside of you as you sized every one up, preferring to stand back at a distance and watch rather than jump in and participate.

Today who would believe me if I told them that?
You were born with two perfectly lovely dimples. These days I marvel to see them daily! You are so beautiful and your personality charms me little girl:-)

So... you are five today.
I cherish you sweetheart.
Happy Birthday!!!!!

Friday, September 25, 2009

It Doesn't Matter...

It doesn't matter that he is number six, or that I am an "old pro".

I still:

  • Check to see if he is breathing throughout the night.
  • Can't seem to change a little boy diaper fast enough. ;-)
  • Forget what side I last nursed on.
  • Marvel at his perfection

I am surprised to find that:

  • I actually like the smell of baby spit-up (?!)
  • I don't mind being woke up fifty-seven times in the night.
  • I'm having a hard time sharing him with anyone!
  • I enjoy this baby even more than the last one...
Which I enjoyed more than the one before that...
And the one before that...
And the one before...
Which brings me to the first one with whom I thought
I could not possibly enjoy more!

So it would seem there are still surprises!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Boy and His Admirers

This is me - today. I'm feeling quite a lot brighter!

These lovely cheerful flowers are from the kind folks at AJ's work; the squalling child - courtesy of yours truly :-)

I promise you, Bryce DOES open his eyes. In fact, he was awake for many of these pictures, but I guess he prefers to keep at the ready for a potential snooze.
I have to tell you that he has eyes for Zack especially. If his eyes are open they are sure to be on his big brother!

Clayton and I got out the tape measure tonight and determined that mister Bryce is 20 inches long; now we have only to verify his weight. I still hold to the 8 pounds and 3 or 4 ounces.
The little fella is a great eater though...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


There's "Baby Blue".
Then there's the "Baby Blues".

I have never felt "blue" about my babies, nor about having a baby.
However... after four or so, I finally admitted there is some truth to the baby blues thing.

I will start off this post telling you honestly that I am real.
I really love and enjoy my children.
I really relish life.
I really do revel in the Lord's daily mercies.
I also really cry - and sometimes over nothing.
I would really rather not relearn how to nurse every time. It hurts like the dickens!
I really have unmerciful hormones, and even though I reason forcefully with my feelings...
they occasionally win.

I don't know much about hormones or the affect they have on the mind, heart, emotions.
I DO know that there has been a consistent theme after each baby's birth.
The theme replays like this:

"Wow I feel better!"
"Wow. I am sore!"
"Wow, that mirror is mean. I'm sure I'm not really shaped like that!"
"I'm lonely."
"I'm tired."
(did I mention"WOW I'm sore!")
"I'm overwhelmed."
"I'm inadequate."
"Wow. I need a long tight hug!"...

Etcetera and so forth (I'm not sure about that "lonely" one. It's thoughts like that which make me realize I am not thinking rationally!)

Mostly it hits when the milk comes in. I'm sure I am not alone in my experiences, but it took me through several new babies to learn some things you just need to "ride" out.

At first I denied the force of my feelings.
I wondered what was wrong with me for feeling unexcited about tomorrow.
I tried to reign in the tears that wanted to flow for no reason.
I am not one given to diagnoses or labels, but for the first time ever I had to give the dark term "depression" some credibility.

In my case, I was not ruled by it. Nor did I indulge in surrender. It may not have been until after the sun came out that I recognized these things anyway.
My baby blues experience has ever been a light case; a feeling of being trapped in monotony. Fortunately for me, there has never been anger, or regret, or fear. Just the looking forward into tomorrow and seeing nothing.
It is a feeling of being lost; of looking for something with vibrant life and seeing no color at all.
A bit hopeless and I don't like it!

The best part of experiencing this phenomenon is the humbling reality of what some people face often - or even all the time. I didn't discount it entirely, but I was certainly skeptical.
To the unknown, unnamed, faceless persons I have previously raised my eyebrows at:
Please forgive my ignorance!

It is good to be humbled. It is good to be enshrouded in darkness for a time. How can we truly appreciate the Light unless we have experienced blindness?
I am thankful that the Lord makes me to experience difficult circumstances once in a while. He knows it is to my own benefit, and to His glory ultimately.

So back to me and today.

A little cloud of the Baby Blues hung over my head today. That old theme replayed.
I cried.
And cried.
...and cried.

I did not call my best friend because I knew I did not need the affirmation of men. I knew she'd understand if I called her, and I knew she'd understand if I didn't. In my own case today, I knew it was for me to lean completely on the Lord. Sometimes He chooses to use other people. I have experienced the blessing of light and life breathed into me through that avenue.

Today it seemed to me a good idea to number my blessings. I didn't actually get out a pen and paper, or even count them off, but when I heard the children laughing hysterically because of the riotous game they were playing... I thanked the Lord for my children.

Every time I gazed upon this little wonder of a new son... my heart could not contain the fullness of my gratitude for him, his health, and safe arrival.

When my husband came in to sit beside a weepy, irrational, unreasoning woman (who was me)...
I thanked the Lord for his grace - my husbands. I did not deserve that, and neither did I attract such endearment at that moment;-)

A good hug is a remedy that works wonders too! Little by little my evening has regained color. At first one streak of warm bright yellow, the dawning sun that came with that understanding hug.

Then the rosy pink hue of Lina's hugs and my children's sympathy and concern - and more laughter.

And then there is the sweet baby scents and sleepy cuddles of baby blue...
Of that I drink deeply, for there is much to be had!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My Indulgence

What child's heart doesn't go pitty-pat at the sight of a colorful big lolly pop?

These were a gift to the bigger buglets from their new little brother (with my permission of course!).

Then we had to swap lolly pops to try each flavor...

Yep. Little sis is one of the big kids now!