No Pause Button

Perfect spring days; some cool and wet, others balmy warm.
Sun dappled decks and growing green call us outdoors
and I leave things a shambles inside
to go out.

It strikes me especially just now,
how like the new little evergreen trees
my children are.
Long, lanky, sprouting new growth every year
and stretching ever upward much faster than I notice.

I want the days to stay this way forever.
Noise and messes and crunchy floors, as my friend calls them,
wear a mommas body out with their never-ceasing ever-presence,
but my heart says please...
please pause!

When all the chicks are under our wings
and the days are drenched with living
truly living...
When life is full of light - even on shadowy sunless days
and big burps, quick wits, squeaky babies, jokey laughter and grins
are a dime a dozen,
me and mine - we look at each other and don't see the age
but these children, they prove otherwise.  Time is not stopping for us.
And we want these days to stay forever.
At least pause for a while so we can saver the moments
more thoroughly.

There is no looking back
and there is no pause button
and time will continue to exist until Jesus comes back for us.

I want to banish tiredness and crankiness and feelings of defeat
I want to remember that I live in freedom
and that grace is not just for them
and that old things have passed away and ALL things have become new
(even me).

I want to worship the Lord in all the moments - even the hard ones.
I want my children to see a real mom that is really forgiven
and knows real humility and is willing to ask forgiveness
even of them.
Maybe one day they will know how I wanted to be perfect for them
wanted to be just what I thought they needed
wanted to have no regrets.

If they will just know how much I love them...

Do you hear that Precious Ones?  I love YOU!
You.
You guys who are growing too fast and becoming such beautiful people
and taking my breath away as I watch you live with such zeal!
My heart aches with the loving
and is fuller than I can bear for the gratitude of getting to be yours
and for the amazement that you are mine.

If this day will not stay forever
your dad and I will watch those legs keep growing
and those spirits continue to develop in wisdom and in depth of understanding
we'll measure your height on the wall
and watch your personality blossom in abundance of color
and take in the sweet aroma of your character.
We enjoy you each so much!

I hope we can follow you in your adventures
as you have been faithful companions on ours.
I hope you find a best friend to marry
like I did.
I hope your living rooms have enough space for us
to roll out sleeping bags and have slumber parties and spill pop corn on your carpet
when we come to visit.
I hope you have lots of babies and crunchy floors.
I will sweep them for you.
And be sure to live in a house with a porch.  It is the best spot to sip coffee together.

Oh my favorite people in the whole world!
I want these days to stay forever...
but since they won't
I can't wait for sharing all the ones we have.

I love you!

~Your Momma

From the Sick House

...Again.

One thing I find a bit heart-tugging , is when my runny, goopy, sneezing
toddlers want to love on our baby.
I can almost see the germs as they spew and ooze from one to the other and still
I can't bring myself to shoo the doting masses away.

At the expense of my fresh new baby's dry nose, I let his siblings cuddle up close and enjoy him.

From the time I had two children under 2 and one of them was a new big brother,
I determined to let the big one have access to the little.
18 month-old big brothers aren't especially soft or gentle in their movements.
Strokes and caresses are more like accidental socks and conks.  Sweet innocent infants
are loved to squished in my home as I monitor carefully within close proximity.

This decision made about 10 years ago has been harder at times than a quarantine
as I watch my sweet innocent infants be loved to smothers.
With breath sucked in I gently instruct the big brother or sister in their new roll,
and have seen over and over again that newly initiated "Big" take ownership.

Of all the parenting experiments I have tried, this one has yielded some of the most
 precious fruit over and over again.

Confidence to approach this wiggly new bundle without fear of reproach
has resulted in a desire to be near, to be helpful, and to engage in play and in conversation.
It has resulted in camaraderie.
As I show the Big how to hug, and kiss, and pat, and wipe spits from the face of his baby,
there are a certain amount of bumps that happen as well (and for the sake of this post,
germs and illness too).

But babies are resilient.

It's much harder to promote that sibling bond
after months of telling his hopeful new protector to back off.

And so our baby has the sickness too.  It' frustrating, but it's what is.

I try to mitigate the damage with encouragement to wash hands before touching,
and to not sneeze in his face, and to scoot back a little so to not share germs...
but I am more interested in the long-term relationship between brothers
than the short-term discomfort and inconvenience of dealing with more flu.

I'm certainly no expert in parenting, but I do know it's no fun nursing a house-full of sickies.
More than the usual share of energy-taxing, sleep-depriving duties multiply when germs
 invade 10 otherwise healthy bodies.
However that's nothing to the job of parenting with wisdom in the midst of brain fog;
and when wisdom says to take the harder path (which may even mean less than the little
sleep you're already getting), well...
it's hard.

But if the Holy Spirit leads your heart in the direction of the difficult, 
follow.

The rewards are greater than can be imagined.

Brothers:  Bryce 3 and a Half.  Miles 6 weeks old.

A cup half-full... of sunshine

Every snapshot is a true picture

and every snapshot is focused on just one part of the whole.

In all life there is more to the picture - even if it's the addition of an unseen

photographer behind a camera. 

A wider angle usually includes clues to the big picture - more to the story:

toys, dirty socks, trash, unfinished projects, open books strewn across a table...

the one child not interested in participating, a broken part, dust bunnies.

You don't always see those things when the presented perspective is zoomed in.

It's not that the idyllic image is untrue, 

but rather, only a part of a much bigger picture.

I am not being deceptive when I focus in on the beautiful.  the noble.  the best part

of  my own bigger picture, it's just that I see dirty socks every day.  I am well aware

of all things in the "strewn" category (which encompasses more than books),

and these days I have so many dust bunnies I hardly notice them at all!

But I can always use more practice seeing 

the best and most lovely part of the picture.

You know... not the wide angle view -  the part where my children forgot to wipe

the counters when they cleaned the kitchen...

but the sweet part where they did the  whole chore while enjoying each other

and filling the room with laughter..

Not the far-back vantage where fort-building materials are as rubble in my living room...

but the look-a-little-closer perspective to see that some thoughtful souls 

remembered to pick up the books,

getting them onto a bookcase beyond reach of book-ravaging babies.

...{Thank you dear ones.  Thanks for noticing and taking care of it )...

Not the mud tracked in...

but the fist of flowers ceremoniously presented.

Not the hammer left in the driveway...

but the groceries unloaded and put away.

Not the schoolwork I didn't correct...

but the math books with every page completed. 

Not the refrigerator which needs a good scrubbing out...

but the strawberries for dinner.

Not today's weather forecast for "partially cloudy"...

but tomorrow's prediction for "partially sunny".

See, the clouds are there whether it's partially cloudy or partially sunny.

But so is the sun.

The only real difference is what you choose to pay attention to.

Take heart beloved!  There is a real story behind every lovely picture. 

(and incidentally a mud tracked floor is not a shameful part of the picture.

It's a real {oh so very real} part, but not the piece I wish to magnify)

I will encourage you that our "bigger picture" is full of real life ant invasions, dust bunnies,

sticky spills, underwear left on the bathroom floor and water splashed on the walls.

Our people are imperfect.

As with any good, wholesome perspective of a partially sunny day,

we have lots to celebrate and so we do!  

Not from fear of letting people see the grit for themselves,

but from a  heart full to the brim 

and splashing over with grateful appreciation 

for the sunshine.

"Finally brethren, 

whatsoever things are true, 

whatsoever things are honest,

whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure,

whatsoever things are lovely,

whatsoever things are of good report,

if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise,

think on these things."

Philippians 4:8

Sunday Drive

We rode not in a horse-drawn buggy; but armed with a mocha and some field glasses,
the Bugletts and I decided to drive the back roads home from town this afternoon.

"Exploring our own territory" as Zack aptly put it, I had been wanting to see what lay
behind one humble street sign and dense forest line.  I often peer down that road on my
way zipping past on the highway.  It looks long.  And hilly.  And full of possibilities.

 This past week I was homesick for all my girls - my girlfriends  in every nook and cranny
of the earth.  Every nook but here.  My nearest buddy lives 2 1/2 hours away in another
state.  She is my spend-all-day-together friend.  I need friends that will let me crash in on
them like that - with a zillion children in tow, hungry for fellowship, hungry for food.
Sweet is the friend that welcomes and shares a full day with me and my Bugs.

But I miss my "can-I-just-pick-up-corndogs-for-16-and-and-come-now?" girls.  They are
a luxury I miss and want to say, need.
Girls, I miss you.  Thanks for flexibility.  It's a sacred word :-)

Today was the day to escape the cabin before fever set in, and find out where that country
road led. 
I was tempted to stop at every home with a friendly yard bearing toys, to see if
the inhabitants wanted new friends. Ha!
I restrained myself, and was contented to sigh over all the amazing topography and old barns.
We LIVE in this place I have been known to repeat in awe, to myself or no one in particular.

The Aspen, and Birch are just starting to leaf out, and gardeners are working the soil.  It looks as if
spring is actually going to stay for a while.

In front of one home we drove past, a couple was building a raised bed. 
It was not your average raised bed mind you.  There was a reason it was in front of
their house - each of several beds already built (I estimate) was 16 feet long and 6 feet across.
The garden bed walls were made up of logs - and I do mean logs!  The project was so impressive
(and beautiful) that I had to slow down and cran my neck around to really ogle. 

I made up for the intrusiveness by issuing a friendly wave :-)

I was refreshed and inspired, and now I can't wait to jump into a new week (and maybe a garden!).

That drive restored my vision, but what followed revived my spirit.

On the way home, my car drove into a neighbors driveway.  A neighbor I drive past every
time I go to town.  One who has reached out to me whenever I extended my howdy,
but one whom I've never gotten to know really because of two busy lives with two very
busy families.
This woman, has 10 children - five still in the nest.  She is of the Race that Know Joseph
(If you know what I mean) and today she was home. 

One impromptu meeting, 9 children playing Marco-Polo in the field, and two of us on
the playhouse porch swing.  It was balm.  And it was one more example of the Lord's
favor on me - no one important.  No one special.  Just one He loves.

He provides OH so much beauty!

And He provides me girlfriends wherever I go.

He calls her... "Ah-Lor"

A nickname of his own invention.

I had once considered Allie; Lori we sometimes use, and occasionally just plain Lor.
But Ah-Lor?
That's one I never imagined.

However... it fits.  

And the thing is, that he can say every other version of her name as clear as day!
What I love is that Bryce views his relationship to Aloria as his own.

He is not replicating anyone else's, and he takes ownership in his
girl by calling her his very own endearment.

She is his girl.

She is his Ah-Lor.

Autumn Dances In!

Craft Friday found little boy hands eager to build rockets.
Zachary dreamed new rocket designs he could build with his small cousins, so he gathered parts
customized pieces, and made ready the glue.

He was very thorough.  And very ready!

 

The girls scavenged bits from nature to assemble wreaths.

My hands were full of wreath and sticks and wire and leaves, so there are no pictures of the process.

The picture above is a tiny bit deceptive as we mainly used hot glue, not Tacky glue.  The base of our wreaths

were pr-emade straw thinga-majiggers which I bought at a thrift store years ago for just such a project.

You could also use other things for the base including grape vines or cardboard.  

Even a curved stick could be a swag shaped base for fall foliage.

The simple steps we followed (and I use this term loosely) were:

* First to gather dried grasses, pretty leaves, moss, pine cones, fern, and bark.

* Wire the larger items you collect to the base you are using.

* Let little ones pick out the bits and pieces thy like; 

   and have larger children hot glue those things in place.

* Momma or big kiddos can touch it up, adding leaves, moss, and pine cones to bare areas.

*  My girls wanted a bow.  We put a bow on our creation.

 

 

Little Britches doin' his little cock-rooster thing.

He is the THEE Big Stuff now because he got a leather belt from Uncle Char and Auntie Hannah

modified and embellished, sporting a custom-made leather pouch complete with a cute

wee-sized manly multi-tool/pocket knife!

{{{Shhhh... He's only been introduced to the pliers!}}}

No matter.

It turns out you can chase girls just as effectively with a pair of pint sized pliers. HA!

 

Autumn Autumn, waltz me in!  Lead on in golden sunlit hues and twirl thy skirts in scent-filled changing winds.

She requested Cream Puffs

{Talkin' to Grama}

My Susanna Glory turned 7.

Cream Puffs and Fairy wings...

Finger Sandwiches and Tea...

Sisters and sunlight...

Cream, sugar, and a beloved cousin...

It was lovely.  Just perfect.

The girls made hair clips.

Just enjoyed.

I love you my Darling!  
Happy happy Birthday, with many more to come!