I am a Venti Mom

"Venti" is a size.

It would be less confusing if it were called "Large" or "Largest", but it's Starbucks.
They size their drinks to sound important.

Maybe a Large is "Venti" and a small is Tall so that you feel you're getting something big either way, but all you have to do is look at the cups to know there's a difference between something otherwise referred to as "Large" and what Starbucks calls "Tall".

The truth is, I was never a "Tall" mom because I didn't truly discover all the glory of Starbucks until child #5 and an 8 hour stretch of road to drive.
I went straight to the biggest size Java Chip Frapucinno made.  Why mess around?


Today as I loaded my babies into a cart at Wally World, I noticed a mom next to me loading Little's into her cart.  In the empty bottom sat a Starbucks frappucinno.
What is it about Starbucks that makes shopping with children seem like a vacation? 

My Frapucinno was already gone.  Savored to death in the first hour of our outing while I searched for Pita Pockets in a new grocery store.
That had been several hours prior and I assumed that Wally World was this lady's first stop.

I noticed that her Frap was a size "Tall" and wondered if she knew when she ordered that "Tall" meant "small", and did she figure it out for next time?
I need every ounce of caffeine that a Venti can deliver when I'm shopping with the crew.

Then it hit me.
She had 2 children.

I really think that Starbucks should find an Italian word for "Monstrous", or "Humongous" (in fact they could just call it that) because what about those moms of 10 out there?
I can't imagine that a Venti does it in their case.

To be fair, I rarely see a mom with that many kiddos with her.
Maybe it's because the bigger ones are old enough to babysit a few at home.
Maybe mom and dad divide and conquer when they shop, and dad is at the other end of the store.
In that case maybe they're a 2-Venti-Frap. family!

But honestly?
I think it's because Starbucks doesn't make a Frappucinno big enough to fuel a mom shopping with 10 or 15 children.
Laws of nature (or something like that).  What goes up... must come down.

I was happy for the "Tall" momma, that she had found the secret to making Wally World a slice of heaven (or at least a piece of sanity).
I felt strangely sorrowful for mothers of 15 - they have to get out to shop too!

But me?

I really enjoyed myself.  
I am a Venti mom,
and there was just enough caffeine in the biggest size that Starbucks makes to last me through ALL my errands.

And home again.