Wednesday, April 13, 2011

9 month reflections

I can't tell you how nice it is to have only a few small mirrors in our house and poor lighting!
There are such perks to not seeing yourself in  FULL - LIVING - COLOR every day.
We have just enough mirror to ensure that hairs are in place and teeth are clear of spinach;
to keep from scaring off our neighbors and giving our friends too much to laugh about.
As you can see, a glass door will suffice in a pinch :-)

This belly hasn't seemed humongous to me.  The rest of me feels humongous, but the belly seems
indicative of a petite babe.  I like that, even though there comes a point when a baby of ANY size
will seem large ;-)  That's just a little observation I've made with some experience behind it.

I'm waiting.
I'm not feeling anxious,
but I'd forgotten that I do become introspective and somewhat hermit-ish.
I do not feel creative. Or funny. Or fun, for that matter.
But during this time I find I am more and more ready to make the acquaintance of my baby.
My baby... what sweet words those are.
I am not one of those people who thinks it's easier to maintain life within the womb.
I much prefer to juggle a living being in the crook of my arm, or on my hip - even while stirring dinner.

With each pregnancy, the obvious has occurred:  9 months has passed much more quickly.
Busy-ness overtakes a household buzzing with daily life and all that pertains to it.
Even though all my babies are less than 2 years apart - most about 18 months -
this ones appearance struck me rather as "I JUST DID this!"
It was deja-vu :-D
I am learning that there are new ways to appreciate pregnancy and new life,
not so much for novelty any more,
but the wonder of the privilege when so many people are unable to carry life within.
Also I wonder at the privilege because God has seen me mother the children I already have.
He knows my failings and yet...
And yet He blesses me again, and again, and again.  His favor just overflows my cup!
THAT is a wonder.

Then there is this time of the final days of preparation.
Beyond the neat stack of clean baby clothes,
birth supplies,
eensy-weensy newborn size diapers,
corners that have been dusted,
drawers that have been organized...
there is a momma heart that begins to long for another baby.
How convenient!
Not only do I have the baby itch super-duper bad, I'm going to get one!
(and, I might add, it's a good thing to want a baby badly at this point,
because I'm going to need that motivation to carry my physical body through another
very serious workout!)

Well.  I'm there now.
Ready AND longing for this baby.  To hold, and kiss, and smell....

It IS a wonder - all over again!


Melissa said...

I love this post--you articulated the feelings of us "grand multi-paras" so well :).

Pam... said...

It is such a privilage and blessing. You look great. I know how you feel. We had 3 children 14 months apart, and a few 16 months apart. It was just life and always beautiful; every stage. Not always easy. Praying for you. The word you are conveying is cherish. A good word for all of us!

Morgan said...


Rachel said...

I love love love love those ending days of being pregnant. The end is right there -- and those last moments are so sweet. Those last times with just the babe and you.

Praying for a great delivery. :)

Pam... said...

I'd love to see more pics of your house. It's so fascinating to me, you guys are so brave. I've been wanting so many things done in our home, but didn't marry a carpenter. Yet my dad was one, so I've put up walls and found hidden windows before!
I do know it's not easy for you, but you have to know: I confess that I covet your homesteading and joy, and season of life...pregnancy included. How I've loved homebirth with my husband at my side. Amazing!

Just thought you should know that you are a hero of mine! Chin up now, little sis. Your lil' package is on it's way! God made it just for you and you will love it!! ps what's the heart beat been so I can make my guess?