Tuesday, August 18, 2009

For Without ME, You Can Do Nothing

John 15:5
"I am the vine; you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him will bear much fruit. For without me you can do nothing."

And don't I know it!
I finally have some little scripture cards up on my kitchen window sill. Since they are placed right above my bread kneading area, my bread baking days are a perfect opportunity for repeating scripture out loud, meditating on, and committing it to memory.
In an unexpected and delightful turn of events, some of my children listen in while I am repeating to myself, and ask me to "say it again, Mom" and are memorizing along with me without being cajoled.

This John 15:5 verse is dear to my heart, and more so these days when I am weary by 11:00 in the morning (before my duties are done for the day). Just up until that point every day I am sure that I can conquer the world while the smaller children nap, and then at lunchtime... I crash.
No more can do.
I eye my sons enviously and wish with all my heart that I could find a way to bottle up their extra energy (for surely they don't NEED all that), and then pour it on ice and sip it on my upstairs porch before getting down to business.
THEN I could really get something accomplished!
Anything!
Maybe even EVERYTHING!!

Perhaps it's a good thing no such bottling method has been discovered. I am forced to remember that only by abiding in my Lord can I do those things which need doing. It becomes painfully clear at times that my list is not the same list that the Lord has for me to accomplish in a day. How could I be sensitive to His leading without abiding in Him? Without being broken in the works of my own flesh and crying out to Him for wisdom and strength?
I mustn't wait until I'm out of energy to abide in Him, but it's a fine place to start.
I am humbled when I realize my weakness, and the Lord will probably keep me running on fumes as long as it takes to keep me running to Him. And then not just running to Him, but abiding.
Constantly dwelling where His grace and mercy permeate my being and run over into the lives of others causing HIM to be exalted, worshiped, and glorified!
Oh then! The beautiful fruit which comes even from a tired momma if she abides in the Living Vine!

Lord let it be so.

...................................

So... Since I did NOT bottle up the excess energy of those two incredibly boyish boys, but I DID bake bread; I have been meditating on the privilege of being a tired momma, of having children who put their dirty socks in the drawer, and leave their clean clothes in front of the door; of having options for dinner, and food in the pantry; dirty dishes to wash because there are people I love, eating eating the meals I make, around the table I cleared five times but didn't actually wipe down once AND THEY DON'T CARE.

Tossing away my list and abiding in Him, I scooped up my baby-for-a-bit-longer and rocked in the Lazy Boy.
That little girl fell asleep in my arms! I can't remember the last time that happened, so I rocked. And rocked. And looked at her snuggling against me (for I am very snugly these days); watched her breathe, noticed her dark eyelashes and sweet lips, and I let the bread dough rise for too long - knowingly - just so I could rest in Him.

I could have missed those moments in my tired determination.
Instead I received just what I needed from Him to "do what needed doing" and still capture a moment of rest in His faithful arms.

I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, but the Vine that nourishes this branch keeps providing sap, the Holy Spirit, who patiently teaches me all along.
What strength there is in that knowledge!

Thanks Lord.

5 comments:

gramsie said...

I love you Ana...
--m

Lady Jess said...

What a sweetheart. I love it when my brother falls asleep on my lap, until I start to feel the sweat. Then he has to get OFF. So, you made bread? Are you enjoying your oven, then?

Grace McHugh said...

A good reminder. I am feeling weak today and can rest in the knowledge that He is strong and carrying me.

Julianne said...

Great post. Soon your nesting instinct will come and you'll feel VERY productive. :)

princessmama said...

So true! Love you! :)