...The one where Adrenalin has left without a farewell and Tiredness catches up,
tackles me, and I get buried at the bottom of a dog pile.
I thought I was doing pretty good. "That" week usually hits me at 3 weeks postpartum.
This time I made it to 4.
All of a sudden, emotions take the wheel, and brain takes the back seat.
It (my brain) doesn't even help give directions or answer critical questions as in: "Why am I standing in the pantry?"
or "This diaper is dry. I must have changed it twice and it's the other kid who's stinky. What is WRONG with me?!!"
But then again. It's not my brains fault I fuel it with only a couple hours of sleep at night.
And I DO know what's wrong with me.
It's "That" week.
"That" week occurs every 18 months more or less, and is of duration. It won't last forever.
And I know what it is; can anticipate it's arrival. I recognize it when it crashes my party.
I have the advantage there because I've made a point to find ways of outsmarting Self Pity.
The very best one I know is to cuddle baby.
Or to watch my babies cuddle my baby!
To number the infinite blessings I enjoy - especially the holding of
a squishy, rosy cheeked, sleepy baby.
A baby who is healthy, and a warm nest to keep all my little chickens near.
Sometimes I continue to feel the way I feel.
But I know that it's just a passing feeling.
That with a little encouragement Truth (the Truth of God's mercy and grace poured out on my life)
will illuminate a way in which to go, and paint colors of vibrant hue on my circumstantial canvas
banishing a gray deception.
Oh blessed victory!
When I thought of being a mom, I never dreamed of THIS! ~Five heart melting smiles ~never getting tired of midnight feedings ~having all the answers ~not minding dirty faces ~enjoying watching the boys eat! ~falling in love with pigtails ~appreciating overalls ~appreciating a washing machine! ~wanting to do everything better ~falling in love a million times